what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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