We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
