Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
