Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
