i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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