Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
everyone is single if you try hard enough
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
