everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
