I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
