Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
