Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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