even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
