Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
In America we eat man semen.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
