i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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