3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize