Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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