I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize