I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize