I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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