i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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