I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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