I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
