You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
