You can't motorboat a personality
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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