The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
