My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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