at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
