You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just pee around me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
