Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
