yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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