I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
