Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
