U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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