She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
