I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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