are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
