..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
