I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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