Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
