it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
