i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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