im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize