Dual....:-)
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize