my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
