so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
