I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
