in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
