just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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