if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
