I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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