yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
