brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
