Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
