It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
