so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
