Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
