Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Found your dick twin last night
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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