their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
