But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i wish my penis had a tongue
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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