It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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