Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
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