so explain again why im purple
no
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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