We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
