You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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