ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
