I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Is Oprah even human
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
