so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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