Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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