actually, I'm a sock model
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
